daddytodd | You can't kick me out, I QUIT!

mamoosh has cast me out of tht Carp movement, so I responded with the following. I thought it turned out kinda funny, so I decided to cross-post it to my own LJ. It's a cheap & dirty way to get a post, but at least I'm not doing some lame timewaster of a "meme".

----------------------------------------------------

I remember the early days of the Carp movement, when it consisted of me and my buddies throwing back some brewskis at the old "Lone Starfish" (the original one that got knocked down in the earthquake back in '88 or '89).

We didn't have a name back then; we didn't know we were Carps; we were just a little clique of scaly guys cheating on our husfishes with each other. Only later did we differentiate as Carps, Fry, Guppies, Fingerlings, Tuna, Trout, Salmon, Sharks, Groupers... It's all gotten so complicated!

Then what's his name started "Carp" magazine, and took pictures of every one of us for those early half-size 'zines (long before anyone ever dreamed it would become a marketing juggernaut.) I was on the cover of Issue #3. I think they sold a total of 44 copies of that issue. I still have 25 of the ones I bought in a box in my attic. One of these days I'll pay for my retirement by selling them on eBay!

But I digress.

Back then we didn't care about "Carp Codes." Nobody worried about how big his ventral fin was! And the concept of a "Musclecarp" would've been laughed out of the bar. Nowadays it's all about reducing yourself to a cryptic set of codes, spending hours and hours in "Goldfish's Gym" to bulk up enough to add an extra "+" to your "M" code!

It's all about cutting your scales just the right way, using the right flipper shampoo, identifying yourself as a Carp, or a Guppy, or whatever the latest term is. The Carp Movement's now just a marketing niche.

The Spirit of the Carp has been turned into a merchandizing category, and I renounce my Carpness. The rest of you can go straight to Davy Jones' Locker!

Oh, but I'm still running for International Mr. Carp at ICR next year! See ya then! I'll have plastic cups and little footballs and fortune cookies and ball caps imprinted with my logo for everyone!

Fishy flipperhugs,

Charlie Tuna