Bear411 Fun

[daddytodd]

Bear411 profile quote: "Don't bother writing if your going to call me boy, boi, pup, son, and kiddo. Newly added word I hate is sport."

OK, how about "asshole?"

Another Bear411 profile quote: "Not looking to meet any one for sex I have someone for that and alot more. His profile on here is XXXXX, Come on guys show a little respect. Taken means NOT LOOKING for any thing more than friends."

In what sense is it "disrespectful" to hit upon someone who has his profile posted on a hook-up site? What am I not getting here?

Comments

Yes, it's a hook-up site

[daddytodd.livejournal.com]

It's a lot of things, but primarily, yes, it is a hook-up site. Perhaps not as mono-focused as men4sexnow, but still I see the main purpose of posting one's sexy and/or revealing photos online as an attempt to entice others into cyber and/or R/T sex.

Re: Yes, it's a hook-up site

[grande.livejournal.com]

thats a perspective issue then i'd say.

i've specifically posted in my profile i'm not looking for anything in particular, i know thats vague, but its true.

i know some folks take the time to post they aren't looking for sex. if they post that, is it disrespectful to still hit on them? i don't know the answer to that question, but they have all the right in the world to ignore someone that does i'd say. i mean they did post it.

however, i doubt most folks post that with that particular intention. i think, its more of a general tool and disclaimer so folks can get out of being hit on by folks they dont find interesting.

regardless, another mans trash, anothers treasure. its all about boundaries and respecting the ones laid out.

The Original Question

[daddytodd.livejournal.com]

I know couples who loudly proclaim how "closed" they are, but under the right circumstances (i.e., they get the chance to play with a "supa-hot guy") and suddenly they find an opening in their "closed" relationship.

Is it the unpleasant whiff of hypocrisy that I object to? Or simply sour grapes that I've not been adjudged sufficiently "supa-hot" to slip through that opening? I don't know the answer.

But back to the original question: In what sense is it "disrespectful" to tell someone you find him attractive and would like to have sex with him? He can always say NO if he's not interested (for whatever reason.)

I state quite plainly in my profiles that I'm not interested in cyber; yet still I get tons of requests for cyber. I recognize the reality that most people don't read profiles; they look at ath pics. If your pics fire off certain neurological responses, guys will hit on you. If you're not interested, say "no thanks" or just ignore them. But don't get all offended 'n' shit; would you rather NOBODY found you attractive or desirable?

Re: The Original Question

[grande.livejournal.com]

well thats what i mean, mostly the statement is a filter they can conveniently use.

however, some folks genuinely tell the truth, and really its not our place to question that.

there are other ways to compliment someone than tell them you want to sleep with them. sure its neat, but we've all heard it more than enough, and if we need to keep hearing it, welll thats our own issue, not someone elses.

someone tells me i'm hot and they want to sleep with me? thats nice. and thats about all i have to say. if someone doesn't have anymore to say, the compliment is about as empty as it get. i understand attraction is the first step of anything, but there are other ways. just other ways.

some folks dont put such a priority on sex, and thats their right. its not really their right to be snappy back about it, i agree, but its really just about as 'right' as telling someone you want to sleep with them when they say they're not interested in advance.

p's and q's. most folks are just being too sensitive. compliments are nice, theres no real reason to overanalyze it, but i dont really take anything on that site too seriously, for all the reasons you and i have said.